Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
