Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
are you so shy because you have an std?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
