I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
