I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
