5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
