Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
