I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
