pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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