my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
