I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize