Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
