her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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