dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
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I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.