what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask