worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.