Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.