'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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