tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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