Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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