whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
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People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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