no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
its liver damage thursday
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
