Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
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My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.