Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.