would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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