I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
