Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
