never play flip cup with pint glasses
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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