You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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