I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
