True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize