So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
