google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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