Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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