No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
