I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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