Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
