Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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