I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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