Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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