Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
