I'm going to jail i love you
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You can't special order awesome
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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