Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
