He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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