The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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