drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
