i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
