Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize