She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
