i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
