just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
