i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
