So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
