i think my tv is drunk
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
