it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
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Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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PS: I just woke up from my shower
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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