She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
