FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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