i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
