Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
