I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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