just come out here and I will go home with you...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
