I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
