I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
